Your 100%
Credit: FreshSplash
As one of my favorite Taylor Swift lyrics goes, “mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card canceled.”
That line came to mind when Danny Meyer said, during his recent book tour to St. Louis: “Just because you have the soft skills doesn’t mean you don’t want to win fiercely.”
In my work, I see warmth get mistaken for a lack of drive all the time. The strongest leaders I know have plenty of both.
Danny spoke to this when describing how he leads. Talented people, he said, don’t want to be micromanaged. They want freedom to exceed expectations and build on their own ideas. Giving them that latitude takes trust, and building trust is a core human skill. Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson placed the trust-versus-mistrust stage at the very beginning of human development, from birth to about 18 months, laying the groundwork for the independence that comes next.
We tend to underestimate human skills because technical skills are easier to measure and reward. Danny broke it down this way: expertise is the required 49% that gets you to the starting line. Human skills are the other 51%. Each one counts, and together they make you a “100-percenter.”
So how do we make space for skills that are intangible yet imperative? It comes down to knowing your values while staying curious about the people in your orbit.
More employers are finally catching on, too. McKinsey analysis shows problem-solving, creativity, and resilience climbing to the top of what organizations want. One Fortune 100 HR leader described hiring “general athletes,” people with strong learning instincts and relational skills.
These are workplace data points, but the same is true at home, with friends, and in our communities, maybe more than ever.
Danny also talked about thinking deeply around the specific problems people face. That’s where the 49% and 51% meet. Expertise gives us the tools, and human skills help us understand what actually needs solving.
Hospitality may start at the table, but it doesn’t end there. You need your 49% to start. You need all 100% to win. None of us gets there alone.
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This wraps up my reflections on Danny Meyer’s visit to the St. Louis County Library. If you missed my earlier pieces this week, you can read them here: Your North Star + Your Table of Friends.
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